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It is so weird, we came to Wellington with fixed ideas about what we would be doing, where we would be staying, who would be supporting us. We were so vulnerable. Within two weeks, those "plans" changed.
We treaded water for a wee while, then gradually angels appeared to help slay the dragons. We found magic places, secret gardens, sanctuaries, safety.
I reconnected with so many people from my past. People I knew when I was a teenager, and now we're (almost) middle aged, with various journeys and stories behind us.
The people I thought I would be spending a lot of time with here in Wellington, we saw hide nor hair of. They became less important than I thought they would be. I have a pretty fatalistic attitude to friendships. 'Some people come into our lives for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime', I read that somewhere. So I am okay when friendships come and go. You realise eventually some people should have no place in your life, and that's ok. Bless them, and let them go.
Yet people from my past, who I never thought I would see ever again, and didn't much care to, called and called and called. Each person had something valuable to share and maybe there is a little something I can give too. School friends and people I barely knew back then, some I knew reasonably well, how I appreciate the time they took to spend with me, the effort they went to, nothing was too hard. I have hung out with elegant Karori and Khandallah ladies, inspirational millionaire businessmen (yes, more than one), wise healers, loving brothers, interesting cousins and worldly French nationals, and that's not including that man with a heart of gold, who has never complained once when I have interrupted his work to help us in some way, I couldn't have got luckier meeting such an easy-going man. Farmers' daughters who I haven't seen for almost 30 years have invited us over for dinner in their beautiful homes and catered to our strange requirements in the most stylish ways without so much as an eyebrow raised. Men who I knew as school boys have entertained my daughter and I in fancy restaurants and trendy cafes all the while recounting events about me to my daughter which shine the kindest light on their memories. Beautiful French people have included us in their social occasions, opening us to a world of PhD and masters students working on such diverse topics as physics, a famous New Zealand writer, language, and privacy law. Our lives have been enriched.
But there have been dragons to be slayed. Agoraphobia and anxiety around buildings post earthquake have put limitations on my movements and ability to be in certain types of buildings, yet before the earthquake I had felt that that was behind me. (Yes, it is strange that the dragon, agoraphobia, seemed to have been worse since moving to Wellington, even where there are no earthquakes or aftershocks so far, and suggestions from the well-meaning to the outright thoughtless to change my perception of objective reality was never going to make everything ok.)
And then in Wellington a miracle happened. I showed up in the life of an old friend who introduced me to some new ideas. I won't blog about them now because I am still not clear on exactly what has happened. Have I had a spiritual awakening or some kind of spiritual experience? I'm not entirely sure, I'm still me, I haven't found religion or joined some strange cult. But in the last fortnight, my daughter and I have both had a shift about some of these issues since spending one of the most memorable nights of our time in Wellington with him. Since that night, I have gone to some places that I would have been unable to go to before without anxiety to such an extent that I could not breath, like a kind of blind terror. But the archangel Michael appeared in the flesh and life has changed! I feel like the agoraphobia dragon was conquered much to the relief of the people who love me in my little world.
When we leave it will have been exactly 7 months since the earthquake happened. The one that scared us away. We are returning home to Christchurch, older and wiser.
Life is good.
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